Toes, trek and Samaria

The pain in my big toes continues. I mean, seriously, it's been ages since Crete and my toes still have a hangover, big time. If you're interested to know the whole story, check out my multiply.

This morning the pain on my right big toe woke me up. Waitaminute, it's the left which has been such a pain, and now the other one is joining the wagon? Darnit, sometimes I wish the nails would just fall off so I could finally look at my shoes without feeling a tiny bit of dread. That's just the start. The main dreadful event is when I put on my shoes and walk on them---and in autumn when the temperature outside is getting chilly, there's just no way to bail out from shoes or boots.

This is Samaria National Park in Crete, Greece, home of really gorgeous gorges. I say you haven't been to Crete if you haven't trekked here.

A and I trekked for 6 hours, covering about 16 kilometers. It was mostly going downhill so the combination of wrong pair of shoes and not so short nails made my big toenails slowly die a very un-natural and painful death.

I remember I was near tears when we reached this part of the park. The pain was just so nagging it was too much to bear especially when I knew there was about six kilometers more to go. Still I stood there for a full minute forgetting about my toes, forgetting about the long and painful way ahead, and just being in the moment. I even managed to snap a picture of A.

It was beautiful there. So untouched and so tranquil. The only sound you'd hear is that of the stream's. I would still go there even if I knew I would kill my toes in the process.

So now two months after Samaria, I still walk with a bad bad baaaad limp and with a facial expression that seems like I'm suffering from chronic constipation. I wonder if it will ever end.

What's up?

I've been so swamped lately. There's my Czech lesson that's keeping me busy twice a week. It's been what, centuries since I took up something? The reverse role in the classroom is kinda strange for me. Not being in charge makes me feel somewhat helpless.

I chose it this way. If I had a private lesson, I could and I know I would, cancel the lesson whenever the little devil whispers at me to just chill at home or go somewhere else. I also wouldn't be pushed to learn. I mean, I couldn't care less if my teacher would find me slow, but being in a class, with ten other people who might think I'm hopeless, makes it too much for my ego to take. I gotta fear embarassment in order to learn.

I feel like I kid. I often kick my cohorts' feet whenever our teacher would ask me something and I didn't know the answer. Same with them. One guy from Turkey would poke my back with his pen whenever his brains refuse to switch to Czech. My life, ladies and gentlemen, is like this every Monday and Wednesday.

Speaking of brain-switching, my sister has been here in Prague since last week. Now I converse to someone in Surigaonon on daily basis. I don't mind, it's actually nice, but when I have to talk to husband in English then talk to sister in Surigaonon at the same time while I try to finish my Czech homework, I just get so mentally constipated.

So if you wont see me here often, blame it on constipation.

Busy

I know I know, I'm super delayed with my Greece post. I've just been so swamped since yesterday so hopefully by the end of this week I'll find time to get back to writing long posts. It's been like running, running, and chasing time since I got back at work yesterday. I wish I still had another month of paid holiday! Just a thought-- are there schools that give teachers three months of paid summer vacation?? Email me if you do know one so I could send my CV asap!

Sigh.

I'm back at work.... Make that a double sigh.

At least I'm happy about our new teacher. He seems to know what he's getting himself into. I'm getting good vibes so we're off to a good start.

Good vibes. Good start. Hope it will be a good year just like it was, and maybe even better.

More ramblings

I've realized I like Multiply. You can have your blog, vids, pics, friends, all in one, so I decided to create my own virtual hangout there. If I wouldn't be writing much here, it's because I'm happily stuck somewhere.

No worries, I wont foresake this blog. This is my first, my oldest and I wrote a lot of memorable experiences here. I'll still be updating this now and then.

Speaking of updates, the universe probably heard my plea for the weather to be warm in Prague. It's been really summery here since the other day. Hope it will last for long, until I get back to work at least. It's not so much to ask for, universe, is it? Keeping my fingers crossed.

Yesterday we went northeast to marvel at the amazing, overwhelming sandstone rock formations in Adršpach. It's about 160 km from Prague. I can't believe at why I haven't heard of this place before when I'm still virtually a tourist in this country. The sights that met me there are totally spectacular. I'll post about the trip when I'm not feeling lethargic anymore, but of course you can view the pics in my multiply.

Oh, why am I lethargic? I'm a bit drugged, I guess. The annoying cyst on my neck got inflamed that it had to be removed this morning. Yay, finally. I mean, it had to be inflamed before I would have the drive and the courage to have it incised. Tsk tsk.

Hormonal

I am very hormonal these days. Prague's shi**y weather isn't helping. It has been cold and rainy since the start of July so it's not doing any good to my sour mood. I have been dreaming of sun and sea since last year but I guess I have to put this dream on hold.

It's the perfect time for sun and fun, at least somewhere far from Prague. I still have one month of holiday left. The beaches are just at our fingertips, but something in the family came up that going to indulge ourselves in a well-deserved holiday by the sea seems wrong.

What am I going to do for a month in this horrible weather? This, among some other things, is what makes me very hor-mo-nal.

The cook and I

Přichovice is where I was last week. It's up in the highlands of CZ very near the Polish border. What was I doing there, having sun and fun? Far from it. I was there as one of the teachers/nannies/mothers of 21 kids ages 4-10 for our school's annual summer camp. How I retained my sanity is beyond me.

Actually, it wasn't so bad. Kids can be really hilarious. What's more, they don't know that they are. Everything they do is purely innocent or spontaneous, without any intention to hurt or to deceive someone. In a world of wasted lives, being with them is very refreshing.

DRUNK COOK

On our fourth night there, the cook got drunk. He was this sixty-ish man who had been giving me odd looks since the first meal was over. That night his tongue got loose and my suspicion was confirmed. He came upstairs giving a speech on how he was annoyed at me for not eating much of the food he prepared. He was very unhappy that I didn't like his cooking, and that not eating well is not good for the body.

I had to grope for words in Czech to explain to him I love the meals but the portions were just too big for me to finish. "Jsem malá, mám malý žaludek ," ( I'm small, I have a small stomach.) was my plea for a truce. He was having none of it.

Fine. There's just no instant remedy for bruised egos.

Then he changed tactics. From lecturing, he was now on to cajoling. He was like-- "What do you want me to cook tomorrow? Do you want rice? I'll cook something special for you just so you would eat everything." I said I'm eating, I love the food here, just give me smaller portions, but he was in la-la land that there was just no way of hitting the point.

The next day he was back at giving me odd looks. I have no doubt he was glad to see me board the bus this afternoon. Finally we can both get on with our lives.

Thin is in?

Two years ago I chatted with my friends from PI. I think there were five of them scattered around the islands. We were on conference. They haven't seen me for over a year at the time so naturally they asked me to send them a latest picture of myself. So I did.

Two of them said I gained a lot of weight. Translation: I was fat. I said it couldn't be so bad since I think I only gained a kilo. They insisted I gained a lot, that my cheeks made me look like a blowfish, that I was no longer as slim as they remembered.

I'm 156 cm and at that time weighing 46 kilos. How can I be fat?

And how can we women be so paranoid about our weight, myself included? That chat made me literally run for a weighing scale. It made me change my diet and lost three kilos. Now on hindsight, I couldn't believe at myself for falling prey to society's wiles.

Who started this idea that to be beautiful is to be thin? Years and years ago all the images of gods and goddesses were fat, so when did society start dictating that thin is aesthetically better than otherwise? Beauty is always subjective yet for most women, thin is in.

I'm surrounded with women who are eternally dieting. I mean, it's their business, it's their body, but when do you draw the line? I think it's when you stop eating what and when you should, and when you constantly berate yourself for eating what you think you shouldn't.

From the words of Paulo Coelho with minor modification, " Forget about getting thin. You can do all the exercise you want, punish yourself as much as you want, but you will still have only two choices-- either stop living or get fat."

Me? I think I'll live.

Sunscreen

There are so many names for it; sunblock, sun cream, sunscreen-- your choice. It's my must-have in summer. I just can't do without my Bioderma SPF 50.

There's also another sunscreen that I really really like. It's this:



I'm sure you know that Baz Luhrmann is the voice behind this, but do you know the pen behind it? According to Wiki, it was Mary Schmich, a columnist of The Chicago Tribune, who wrote it in her column. In 1998 she published her column as a book titled "Wear Sunscreen." A year later she gave permission to Baz Luhrmann to release this as a song in which it is read word for word.

I wish I could write like that. Dream on. :)

I like this part best:

"Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and in the end, it is only with yourself." Amen!

Click here for the complete lyrics. It's worth reading. Trust me on the sunscreen.



Note: Thanks to maximoox for the vid.

Summer scare

I say summer is absolutely, hands down, without any doubt, my favorite season. I like spring, too. After the gloom of winter, it's like a manna from heaven...but the allergies it gives me are certainly not. I love autumn, the combination of romance and melancholia it gives in the air, but I dread the coming of the winter so that spoils autumn for me. So yeah, the time of flip-flops and super light clothing is what I look forward to every year. Not to mention that summer also means a two-month paid holiday for me.

But there's one thing about summer that I so dread. It's not the burning sun, no matter how many freckles it adds on my face, SPF 100 notwithstanding. It's not the suffocating heat even if it reaches 40C. It's.... drums rolling.... the attack of smelly armpits.

Seriously, they smell. By "they" I mean those people here who have a terrible falling out with the innocent shower.

I'm not generalizing. Some do smell good no matter what time of the year it is. Thing is, a lot of the shower haters occupy those little space in the metro and trams that you'd rather share with the shower lovers. When I'm unfortunate enough to be in this situation, I often hold my breath until I'm about to pass out from the lack of oxygen.

Shower haters are one thing, Poison/ Eternity/ Boss lovers are another. Combine these two and you'll get one formidable smell that doesn't just make you sneeze but will surely give you a splitting migraine that lasts till the end of summer.

How can you possibly not love to take a shower? Or to bathe? Fine, maybe you don't have to do it everyday like I do, but seriously, what is there not to like about soap and water? They wont kill you, and the more you stay away from them, chances are, you'll soon kill the person standing next to you.

Purely random

I'm back! I'm amazed at how I survived the previous week unscathed.

Last night, I watched KC Concepcion's "Mansyon" on YouTube. It wasn't the story or the acting that made me glued on my seat for a while. It was her prettiness. She's like a breath of fresh air. Then halfway through the episode I switched to watching music videos. Tearjerkers are not my thing anymore.

Almost half an hour of watching music vids I noticed I was stuck on the 90's hits. I don't know about you but I think it was the era of great music, at least till 1997. There was Paula Cole, Shawn Colvin, and who could forget Jewel? Then came Britney.

Yeah, this entry is purely random. I guess I keep on writing, not so much from having so many things to share, but from the paranoia that I'm losing my English.

At the camp I shared this to my co-teachers and they, too, have exactly the same sentiments. The Brazilian-American, raised in America almost all her life, couldn't remember the word splinter. She also said " I don't see" and couldn't believe she just said that. Me, it took me almost five minutes to remember the word "convenient." Oh, for crying out loud!

Can someone be really fluent in several languages? I certainly start to doubt. Trying to learn Czech for me means losing my Tagalog and unfortunately, my English is declining as well. The Finnish co-teacher said she lost her Swedish and French already, and that she is starting to speak Finnish with an English accent. Talk about Jill of several languages, master of none.

Today, the nurse at my doctor's clinic was annoyed that I still don't speak Czech. "She's been here three years and she still doesn't speak Czech?" So sue me. There's a time for everything, Czech included. For now, just let me be without it.

Out of Prague

I'll be out of the city for a week starting tomorrow. It's the school's annual Spring camp again, which means I'll be tortured for a week being around with pumped up kids. It's just for a week, it's just for a week... this I'm chanting in my head over and over again.

One more month, not counting the camp, and the schoolyear will be over. Can't wait, certainly counting down the days....

Paranoia

The more I watch TV, the more hesitant I get to have a baby. People killing people, global food crisis, violent videogames accessible even to minors-- the list just never ends. I'm not sure if it's a world fit for a child anymore.

I had a great childhood. My parents rocked, especially my Mom. She moved heaven and earth for us to be shaped into good individuals and I'll always give her credit for that-- that, plus the fact that the world two or three decades ago, was probably a saner one than what we have right now.

Maybe I'm just paranoid. Maybe I just watch too much TV. What I'm sure about is that I'll be a good parent. I know I will be able to take care of my child the way she deserves. The question is, will the world be able to take care of her?

Today

Snippets of my (mis)adventures today:

1. We got stuck in a traffic today on our way to the farm for a field trip. We took the public transport. The traffic was moving in a snail pace similar to the horrible Manila jam. Suddenly the door near the driver opened and the driver himself got out. All eyes zeroed on him wondering where he was going. Guess where he headed? To the bushes along the road in the middle of the city to pee. One of my kids, who is four, exclaimed in a scandalized voice; "He's going to the toilet?!"

Welcome to the Czech Rep! I guess here the motto is " You gotta go when you gotta go."

2. Still on the bus, it was hot so my Brazilian-American co-teacher rolled up her sleeves. One of our kids, who is already very much showing signs of following the footsteps of Dolce and Gabbana, was horrified to see that my co-teacher has faint dark hair on her arms. In verbatim the next D&G exclaimed "Your arms have hair. Not nice. Like man's!"

3. You'll be surprised at the things you experience or see when you're stuck in a bumper to bumper jam. Today we also saw a man apparently sunbathing on the rooftop of a three-storey mall. He had a towel on when he stood up, but for some reasons, be it the wind or a sudden inspiration to flash, the towel came off. The Brazilian shrieked behind me but the Europeans on the bus took the show with a bored look on their faces.

4. At the farm, I got attacked by a bee. It dived into my hair and claimed residency right away. It took a huge amount of energy to finally flick it out of my crowning glory. It then showed its annoyance by getting into my co-teacher's ear (the one who flicked it out of my head) and leaving a sting so bad she had to be treated right away.

5. Rudeness is common among shop assistants here. Customer service is nonexistent in some stores, especially this one near our school. I can't count the times I felt like smacking them but what do I get from stooping to their level?

Today I bought food for my cooking afternoon with kids. It was only worth 50kč. I asked the cashier for a stamp on my receipt (the school's accountant requires it if you use the petty cash) and he freaked out. He was like swearing and rolling his eyes and saying something like why on earth people need a stamp for a 50kc purchase. Worse, the tall, dark but nevermind man behind me started laughing. I was fuming mad but couldn't articulate hell in Czech so I fired back in English, calling him a fool and a rude ignoramus.

The nevermind man behind me wanted to show off that he understood English and said to the ignoramus, "She's saying it's alright."

"What alright are you talking about?" I was on the verge of swearing to them in Czech (this I can say fluently) but really what's the point? I can't change the rudeness, this attitude about work I can't define, by joining their game. So I gave them one last dagger look and marched out of the store.

There. That's how it was for me today. Now I'm sleepy so dobrou noc (goodnight) from bush-peeing, rude swearing, bee stinging, hair raising, and yet exciting Prague that I come to love.

Better off without

My co-teacher last week ranted about her friend who just couldn't get herself out of this hopeless relationship with someone. This friend's boyfriend apparently has a wandering eye and his eye wandered not once, not twice, but three times in their three-year relationship.

One affair each year. Quite a record. It's a no-brainer that one day he will wander off again.

I wonder which is worse, to turn a blind eye on what's happening in your face or to be so clueless about not so teeny-tiny indications that Romeo indeed has another Juliet and be the last one to know?

--------------------------------

On breaking up and moving on, the most important thing I learned from my one and only experience is you gotta have friends to save you from severe self- esteem malfunction, especially if you got dumped. Directly or indirectly dumped, it doesn't really matter.

I call these friends "band-aid brigade." They are the ones who would pat your bruised ego and deflated self-esteem by telling you that that other girl looked like a long-lost member of Phylum Mollusca, in no way near your allure level. Nevermind if it's untrue, you need all the leg-pulling for the healing to start.

These are also your friends who will throw you these predictable questions; "Geez, what in the name of Gulay did you ever see in that guy?" "Didn't you get repulsed with his ginger-like toes?" The list will go on and believe me, total band-aid brigade brainwashing will make you start believing you're better off without him.

And you're right. You are.

Joyride

A drive without a certain destination in mind, only for the pleasure of it. Online dictionaries may have different definitions, but this is how I say joyriding is.

Spring is finally here. The sun's been out and the sky's been blue since Saturday. To celebrate this re-birth, A and I went for a joyride last weekend. We ended up circling a part of Prague 4 called Šeberov.

Some snapshots taken during the drive:

Didn't I say before that I'm a sucker for sunsets? There's something romantic, at the same time melancholic, about them. It's like letting go of something you cherish yet waiting and hoping for something more beautiful to come soon.

Which way to go? To the left or to the right? Neither. We went straight ahead where we circled Šeberov for several minutes.

Less than an hour later, we headed home giddy with the experience. (Yes, mundane things done spontaneously usually make me giddy with happiness. ) We weren't ready to give up the day yet so we strolled around the apartment complex. We have been living here almost a year but it's only now when we knew that there's actually a mini park with this man-made pond just a few meters from our flat. At night, the view just gives you a feeling of peace.

Sunsets and spring. Happy days are here again!

More rants

I haven't forsaken thee, my blog...

I have been just busy with the day to day life, and lazy as well. I just couldn't bring myself to write. Mentally constipated is how I was, and I believe, still is.

I also believe I'm suffering from the downside of getting off the pill. I decided to give my body a break from it after almost three years, and what do I get? Dizziness, depression, and bouts of lethargy are just some pains my ungrateful body is giving me in return to my taking care of it. And oh, this bloating that just appeared overnight which gives me a distended belly I so abhor, is also a part of the most unwanted list, thanks to my ever going ballistic hormones.

Unsolicited as this is, if ever you're thinking of being on the pill, really really think again. You might not feel any side effects when you start on it, but you might feel a lot when you stop using it. Like me.

A said I might as well go back to it. Very tempting but no, thank you. No wonder some people get hooked on drugs, and I don't just mean the ones being sold in the streets. Prescribed drugs are just as addictive. Who wants discomfort? Not you and I certainly wont buy it. But I refused to bow to my body's immediate need which is to alleviate whatever discomfort it is feeling by taking the same drug that caused it in the first place.

The rough drive to wellness is just starting. Hopefully the road isn't long and winding...

Speaking of long and winding road, I just remembered a line from a Filipino movie eons ago. This is total digression but what the heck, I'm entitled to write in random thoughts once in a while.

In the movie, Rene Requistas (RIP) was pissed big time with someone and he said to him:

" You're very rude! Capital RIP, rude! The long and winding rude!"

There. If that was like "huh?" to you then I can only blame my hormones for my flat sense of humor.

Just ranting

In one of my previous posts I wrote that it takes several Murphy's law incidents to get me really annoyed. Most of the time I just laugh everything off. When I'm annoyed, it's because something or someone is really pushing it too far.

"Why don't you have a baby now? You're not getting any younger. The clock is ticking. Is there a problem? When you're past 35, better not have one..."

These are just some lines or questions that have been irritating me like a wart on a skin. I absolutely don't mind those well-meaning friends who probably think I'm not doing the world a favor by not producing an offspring now, but virtual strangers who fire me those lines just for what, for the sake of conversation or just for the heck of making unsolicited advices, are another story.

I don't owe them an explanation but if that's what it takes to shut their mouths up, I'll give them some.

A baby isn't the be-all and end-all for me. It's my relationship with my husband that is first in line. If a baby happens along the way, I would be happy and would consider it as another blessing that came our way.

We want to enjoy as a couple first before plunging ourselves into a long-term responsibility. We want us to travel and explore the world , be silly together, and when we've had enough of that, be serious in raising a family together. I've heard enough whining from friends, who right away had babies, to last me a lifetime. I don't believe in that crap that someone can complete you-- even a baby, especially a baby. You have to be complete first before you have one. That way you can give your all without expecting something back. So age notwithstanding, I'd rather be silly and be free for now, not break free from it all later.

Lastly, I believe when something is for you, it happens to you. Everything great that happened in my life was something I didn't look for. It was just handed to me when I was ready to take it and take care of it the best way I can.

Feeling (not) good

There are two songs that alternately play in my head when I'm feeling good; U2's Beautiful Day and/or Kevyn Lettau's Sunlight. I call them my feel good songs because they do play on cue when I feel fantastic about something in me or around me. Today I had to summon all positive energies to hear them. Not my day. I don't hear anything. Not a single chord.

I've been having this splitting migraine since yesterday. I woke up with the right side of my head throbbing with intense pain. I knew immediately this was the kind which would pull me down to the couch the whole weekend. Still I wont give up without a fight. I've uploaded one song below to convince myself it is indeed a beautiful day.



Speaking of U2, there are rumors that they will have a concert in Manila sometime in October. I wish they would have a concert here in Prague asap. I'd be the first one to dash for a ticket. Oh well, right now I could only wish this migraine would leave me in peace.

Baking mishaps

The kids and I baked carrot cake at school last Wednesday afternoon. I brought my own round pan but the crazy thing about this pan is it leaks a bit if I didn't use an electric mixer for the batter. True enough, it started dripping the moment I put it in the oven. This oven, by the way, is a character. It looks like it belonged way back to the jurassic age. Small, stained, scratched and rusting, it certainly had seen better days. It still works, which is what matters, but a single drip from the batter landing on the sooting wire at the bottom would mean smoke coming out from the oven.

I solved the problem by getting rid of the wire rack and using the rectangular baking pan for support. I was about to give myself a pat on my shoulder when I realized it would take time for the cake to be done this way especially the middle part. What the heck, I'll put it over the wire rack again in a while when it has hardened a bit, this I told myself. That's exactly what I did except that when I put the wire rack with the pan on it, the right edge got dislodged. To my horror, almost half of the still liquid batter was spilling all over the bottom! Sure enough, the entire school was right away profused with smoke. It was everywhere even when we opened almost all the windows to let the fresh air in.

Then the school's caretaker rushed inside with this wild look in her eyes. She was yelling something like "where is it, where is it?" in Czech. Where is what? In her barrage of words I only caught one that sounded like electricity and got it. She thought the school was on fire! I shook my head and tried to tell her in my elementary Czech that there was no fire but there was no stopping her from running around the room desperately looking for the faulty wire. I stood in the kitchen waiting for her to come and calmly opened the oven when she did. Next thing I knew, she was bursting in hysterical laughter.

In between fits of laughter she told me the teachers from upstairs were alarmed of the smoke and called her to check. When I told this to A, he said it would have been really something if one of the teachers called the fire brigade and they would come to hose the school down with water. I'm glad all the drama didn't end this way.

Despite everything, our carrot cake still emerged near perfect and was a hit among everyone who tasted it.

Raine

I'm suddenly having thoughts of Raine. They say I have her smile. I remind them of her. But I'm just me, a reminder of her.

Beautiful, perfect Raine. In my eyes she was everything. Freckles and all. Though maybe she loved too much.

Raine swinging me up in the air. Days spent in total abandon. Laughters mingling together. Running around fields of gold in Tabon-tabon.

Then, calachuchis... In the end, was it worth the living and the loving? Or the color tangerine? I know I promised her birds of paradise, even storms and thunder.

I'm having thoughts of Raine. Pens, tongues, papers-- they wont be enough, but I can bring her back by just closing my eyes.

They say I'm like her. I blink, I'm unsure. My world crumbles every now and then, but everyday I try. I try to be like Raine.


Tomorrow is my Mom's 18th death anniversary. I was in my teens when she passed away. I used to doodle or scribble something about her to deal with it. This was one of those scribblings which I found in, where else, but the journal I gave to A many many years back.